Timmersomethings Blog Of Random Stuff

A pastor was presenting a children's sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. Having asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him and the little boy said, "I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor." It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough from their laughter for the worship service to be continued.

Daniel's Gloves I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just offl the corner of the town-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day. As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, 'I will work for food.' My heart sank. I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief. We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways. I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat halfheartedly for the strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I ma...

This is awesome! How Great is our God!!! Our Creator and Redeemer . . . and do we THINK about it??? God's accuracy may be observed in the hatching of eggs. . . . .For example: -the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days; -those of the canary in 14 days; -those of the barnyard hen in 21 days; -The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days; -those of the mallard in 35 days; -The eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days. (Notice, they are all divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!) God's wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant. The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made. God planned that this animal would have a huge body, too large to live on two legs. For this reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily. The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first. A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first. How wise the Lord is in all His wor...

A minister passing through his church In the middle of the day, Decided to pause by the altar And see who had come to pray. Just then the back door opened, A man came down the aisle, The minister frowned as he saw The man hadn't shaved in a while. His shirt was kinda shabby And his coat was worn and frayed, The man knelt, he bowed his head, Then rose and walked away. In the days that followed, Each noon time came this chap, Each time he knelt just for a moment, A lunch pail in his lap. Well, the minister's suspicions grew, With robbery a main fear, He decided to stop the man and ask him, 'What are you doing here?' The old man said, he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour Lunchtime was his prayer time, For finding strength and power. 'I stay only moments, see, Because the factory is so far away; As I kneel here talking to the Lord, This is kinda what I say: 'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRI...

Thought this was pretty amazing and interesting! For all the scientists out there, and for all the students who have a hard time convincing these people regarding the truth of the Bible, here's something that shows God's awesome creation, and that He is still in control. Did you know that the space program is busy proving that what has been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Hill, President of the Curtis Engine Company in Baltimore, Maryland, and a consultant in the space program, relates the following development. 'I think one of the most amazing things that God has done for us today happened recently to our astronauts and space scientists at Green Belt, Maryland ..... They were checking out where the positions of the sun, moon, and planets would be 100 years and 1,000 years from now. We have to know this so we won't send up a satellite and have it bump into something later on in its orbits. We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the ...

A young Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest, "I'm pregnant." He asked, "How did this happen, my child?" She said, "I think it must be the second coming." The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think this has anything to do with the Second Coming?" "Because," she replied, "I swallowed the first one."

Jackie Evancho Video - 'To Believe' with Lyrics

CLICK HERE.

This is just absolutely incredible! I believe this has been around but it's been so long ago that it was good to read it again. 'Let me explain the problem science has with religion.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. 'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?' 'Yes sir, 'the student says. 'So you believe in God?' 'Absolutely.' Is God good?' 'Sure! God's good.' 'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?' 'Yes' 'Are you good or evil?' 'The Bible says I'm evil.' The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible! He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?' 'Yes sir, I would.' 'So you're good...!' 'I wouldn't say that.' 'But why not say that? You...

A southern California couple has been fined $300 dollars for holding Christian Bible study sessions in their home, and could face another $500 for each additional gathering. City officials in San Juan Capistrano , Calif. say Chuck and Stephanie Fromm are in violation of municipal code 9-3.301, which prohibits “religious, fraternal or non-profit” organizations in residential neighborhoods without a permit. Stephanie hosts a Wednesday Bible study that draws about 20 attendees, and Chuck holds a Sunday service that gets about 50. The Fromms appealed their citations but were denied and warned future sessions would carry heftier penalties. A statement from the Pacific Justice Institute , which is defending the couple in a lawsuit against the city, said Chuck Fromm was also told regular gatherings of three or more people require a conditional use permit, which can be costly and difficult to obtain. “How dare they tell us we can’t have whatever we want in our home,” Stephanie Fromm told the C...

Moral standards have been replaced by feelings. Last week, David Brooks of the New York Times wrote a column on an academic study concerning the nearly complete lack of a moral vocabulary among most American young people. Here are excerpts from Brooks’s summary of the study of Americans aged 18 to 23. It was led by “the eminent Notre Dame sociologist Christian Smith”: ● “Smith and company asked about the young people’s moral lives, and the results are depressing.” ● “When asked to describe a moral dilemma they had faced, two-thirds of the young people either couldn’t answer the question or described problems that are not moral at all.” ● “Moral thinking didn’t enter the picture, even when considering things like drunken driving, cheating in school or cheating on a partner.” ● “The default position, which most of them came back to again and again, is that moral choices are just a matter of individual taste.” ● “As one put it, ‘I mean, I guess what makes something right is how I feel abo...

A little boy was selling newspapers on the corner, the people were in and out of the cold. The little boy was so cold that he wasn't trying to sell many papers. He walked up to a policeman and said, 'Mister, you wouldn't happen to know where a poor boy could find a warm place to sleep tonight would you? You see, I sleep in a box up around the corner there and down the alley and it's awful cold in there for tonight. Sure would be nice to have a warm place to stay.' The policeman looked down at the little boy and said, 'You go down the street to that big white house and you knock on the door. When they come out the door you just say John 3:16, and they will let you in.' So he did. He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, and a lady answered. He looked up and said, 'John 3:16 .' The lady said, 'Come on in, Son.' She took him in and she sat him down in a split bottom rocker in front of a great big old fireplace, and she went off.. The boy ...

Very interesting -- the University is standing by their professor and not bowing down to special interest groups! Verified By Snopes.com Professor Wichman E-mail Claim: A Michigan professor sent an e-mail telling Muslim students to leave the country. Status: True. The story begins at Michigan State University with a mechanical engineering professor named Indred Wichman. Wichman sent an e-mail to the Muslim Student's Association. The e-mail was in response to the students' protest of the Danish cartoons that portrayed the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist. The group had complained the cartoons were 'hate speech.' ========================================== Enter Professor Wichman. ========================================== In his e-mail, he said the following: ========================================== Dear Muslim Association, As a professor of Mechanical Engineering here at MSU I intend to protest your protest. I am offended not by cartoons, but by more mundane thing...

In honor of former Governor Schwarzenegger, a new commandment has been added to the Bible. Be sure to write this one in underneath the other ten: 11. "Thou Shalt Not Share Thy Rod With Thy Staff"

The hurricanes that hit the Gulf Coast of our nation were devastating. It did not spare the houses of worship in and around the area. One of the local television stations in South Louisiana aired an interview with a woman from New Orleans. The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate. She asked the woman how such total and complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives? Without hesitation, the woman replied, "I don't know about all those other people, But we haven't gone to Churches in years. We gits our chicken from Popeye's". The look on the interviewer's face was priceless. They're out there, they live among us, AND THEY VOTE.

Hi Lord, its me. We are getting older and things are getting bad here. Gas prices are too high, no jobs, food and heating costs too high. I know some have taken you out of our schools, government & even Christmas, but Lord I'm asking you to come back and re-bless America. We really need you! There are more of us who want you than those who don't! Thank You Lord, I Love you.

**A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means? The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' ======== There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady. ======== "Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning." ======== A minister parked...

Subject: Upcoming movie 1. Abraham asked the Lord to spare 50 righteous people. God responded to Abraham's plea "If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all ....Genesis 18:16-33 The movie " Corpus Christi " is due to be released this June to August. A disgusting film set to appear in America later this year depicts Jesus and his disciples as homosexuals! As a play, this has already been in theatres for a while. It's called " Corpus Christi " which means "The Body of Christ". It's revolting mockery of our Lord. But we can make a difference. That's why I am sending this e-mail to you. If you do send this around, we just might be able to prevent this film from showing in America . Let's stand for what we believe in and stop the mockery of Jesus Christ our Savior. Where do we stand as Christians? At the risk of a bit of inconvenience, I'm forwarding this to all I think would appreciate it, too. Please ...

This is amazing. And even more amazing is that this hasn't been published long before now. CHURCHILL ON ISLAM Unbelievable, but the speech below was written in 1899! (check Wikipedia - The River War)I am sending the attached short speech from Winston Churchill, delivered by him in 1899 when he was a young soldier and journalist. It probably sets out the current views of many but expressed in the wonderful Churchillian turn of phrase and use of the English language, of which he was a past master. Sir Winston Churchill was, without doubt, one of the greatest men of the late 19th and 20th centuries. He was a brave young soldier, a brilliant journalist, an extraordinary politician and statesman, a great war leader and Prime Minister, to whom the Western world must be forever in his debt. He was a prophet in his own time; He died on 24 January 1965, at the grand old age of 90 and, after a lifetime of service to his country, was accorded a State funeral. HERE IS THE SPEECH: "How ...