Timmersomethings Blog Of Random Stuff

How do you get your husband interested in oral sex? Douche with beer. What do you call a gay gentleman from the Deep South? A homo-sex-y'all. What's the most active muscle in a woman? The penis. How can you tell if a woman really likes oral sex? She hikes up her skirt every time someone yawns. How do you get a woman off during sex? Push her. Three guys are discussing women. "I like to watch a woman's tits best, " the first guy says. "I just love the way they bounce." The second says "I like to look at a woman's ass. I love the way it jiggles." He asks the third guy, "What about you?" "Me? I prefer to see the top of her head." [I know this is an old one, but this joke cracks me up...] A murder has been committed. Police are called to an apartment and find a man holding a 5-iron in his hands, standing over the lifeless body of a woman on the ground. The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"

WHO SAID IT? QUOTE: "My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy the ice cream while it's on your plate." HINT: (1897-1975), American writer of innovative plays and novels. RANDOM TIDBITS Americans are the No. 1 consumers of ice cream worldwide, eating 48 pints of ice cream per person every year on average. Immigrants at Ellis Island were served ice cream as part of the welcoming to America. About nine percent of all the milk produced by U.S. dairy farmers is used to produce ice cream. Vanilla is the most popular flavor, accounting for 20-29% of overall sales of ice cream with chocolate coming in a distant second. The Library of Congress possesses a copy of a recipe for vanilla ice cream used by Thomas Jefferson written in Jefferson’s own hand. President George Washington allocated a total of $200 on ice cream purchases during the hot summer of 1790. Charles E. Minches of St. Louis, Missouri is said to have invented the ice cream cone in 190

Voting in Greece is mandatory for all Greek citizens, although there are rarely sanctions for citizens that do not vote. Currently, Greek men must serve from one year to 18 months in any branch of the armed forces. According to Greek mythology, Athena and Poseidon agreed that whoever gave the city the best gift would become guardian over the city. Though Poseidon gave the gift of water, Athena's gift of an olive tree was deemed by the other gods to be more valuable. The world's third leading producer of olives, the Greeks have cultivated olive trees since ancient times. Some olive trees planted in the thirteenth century are still producing olives. The United States of America is divided into 12 Federal Reserve Districts (Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Cleveland, Richmond, Atlanta, Chicago, St. Louis, Minneapolis, Kansas City, Dallas, and San Francisco). Additionally, typically 12 people are appointed to sit on a jury for felony trials, twelve men have walked on the moon and A

*---- Quotes For The Week ----* It is not your opinion that will make or break you, but how you express your opinion.--Nassim Taleb Simplicity is the key to brilliance.-- Bruce Lee It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.--Seneca **--- MYSTERY QUOTE ---** The belief in the possibility of a rule of law, of equal justice, of fundamental rights and a free society can easily survive the recognition that judges are not omniscient and may make mistakes about facts... But the belief in the possibility of a rule of law, of justice, and of freedom, can hardly survive the acceptance of an epistemology which teaches that there are no objective facts. See at the bottom for the answer *---- More Quotes for the Week ----* At the end of the game, the king and the pawn all go back in the same box.--Italian Proverb [From Tom Cunniff] Science is no inexorable march to truth, mediated by the collection of objective informa

I hereby apologize for not publishing much in recent months. I've been very busy this past year and posting stuff here was pushed to the back burner. It really is nice getting back to the old routine. Will post more frequently from now on. Yours Truly: Timmersomething.

Mind Scrambler No matter how little or how much you use me, you change me every month. What am I? Scroll to the bottom to find out. WHO SAID IT? QUOTE: "Write your injuries in dust, your benefits in marble." HINT: Was one of the most prominent of Founders and early political figures and statesmen of the United States. RANDOM TIDBITS The yeast extract left over from the manufacture of beer is considered a delicacy in Australia. Tonya Harding was the first American ice skater to successfully land a triple axel in competition. If you have a 'Sister Joseph's Nodule,' you have been diagnosed with belly-button cancer. Hummingbirds live an average of 5 years. They are hatched from eggs that are so small that a penny would cover three of them. Hummingbirds are usually hatched in pairs in nests that average 1.5 inches in diameter. The average age of a French oak tree harvested to make wine barrels is 170 years old. This is because the older oak tends to be dens