Timmersomethings Blog Of Random Stuff

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.' Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.' St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?' Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the...

Arriving at the Gates of Heaven, Barack Obama meets a man with a beard. "Are you Mohammed?" he asks. "No my son; I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up." Peter then points to a ladder that rises into the clouds. Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, Obama climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes into a room where he meets another bearded man. He asks again, "Are you Mohammed?" "Why, no." he answers. "I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still." Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he climbs the ladder yet again; he discovers a larger room where he meets an angelic looking man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I am Jesus. You will find Mohammed higher up." Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man oh man! Obama can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs ever higher. Once again, he reaches an even larger room where he meets this truly magnif...