Timmersomethings Blog Of Random Stuff

In the news this week a southern California man was put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and had (by rough estimate) 1-million rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also has a secret escape tunnel. The television reporter said: "Wow! He has about a million machine gun bullets" and the headline referred to it as a "massive weapons cache". By California standards someone even owning 100,000 rounds would be called "mentally unstable". If he lived elsewhere, such as Arizona, he'd be called "an avid gun collector". In Nebraska , he'd be called "a novice gun collector". In Utah , he'd be called "moderately well prepared", but they'd probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food. In Montana , he'd be called "The neighborhood 'Go-To' guy". In Idaho , he'd be called "a likely gu...

This has been around but I still laughed almost uncontrollably. Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity da...

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.' Forrest responds, 'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.. But nobody ever told me about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was.' St. Peter continued, 'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?' Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the...

It was just an honest mistake expected at this time in life. At least she didn't wound or kill anyone. We "seniors" have been known to do that sometimes.

You, who worry about Democrats versus Republicans--relax. Here is our real problem! In a Florida State University classroom, the students were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural-born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural-born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming President. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, but then many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating "What makes a natural-born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?" Yup, these are the same kinds of 18-year-olds that are now voting in our elections! And they breed, and they walk Among US...

I recently applied for a building permit for a new house. It was going to be 100’ tall & 400’ wide w/9 gun turrets at various heights, windows all over the place, & a loud outside entertainment sound system. It would have parking for 200 cars, & I was going to paint it green w/pink & gold trim. The City Council told me to forget it … AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!!! So I sent the application in again, but this time I called it a Mosque. Work starts on Monday.

Actual letter from someone who farms, writes well and tried this: I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home. I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped th...

E-mailed by a dear firned. ENJOY. We were in Pigeon Forge over the weekend. On Sunday, we left to come home. Traffic was moving slowly, and a car in front of us had an Obama bumper sticker on it. It read: "Pray for Obama. Psalm 109:8". Mike's Bible was lying on the dash board. He got it, opened it up to the scripture, and read it. He started laughing and laughing. Then he read it to me. I couldn't believe what it said. I had a good laugh, too.. > Psalm 109:8 "Let his days be few; and let another take his office."