Timmersomethings Blog Of Random Stuff

"Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned old man with glaucoma." -Conan O'Brien An Australian scientist has invented a bra which offers more support and prevents a woman's breasts from bouncing up and down. After announcing his invention, the scientist was taken outside where a large group of men beat the shit out of him. Two men lost their long-time drinking buddy to alcoholism. At the funeral, as they passed by the open casket, one remarked to the other, "Gee, Sam sure look good, doesn't he?" The other replied, "He ought to; he hasn't had a drink in a week." Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in back of their trailers shooting the breeze. Billy-Bob asked Bubba, "If I snuck ovah to yore house while you wuz out fishin an' fucked your wife, an' she got pregnant, would dat make us kin?" Bubba scratched his head for a bit then said, "I don'

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife."Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's infidelity." "Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified. "So naturally when I am home, I'm attentive to the wife." One Sunday morning," he continued, "we were in the midst of some pretty heavy lovemaking when the old lady in the apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled, 'Can't you at least stop all that racket on the weekends?'" "Disney is set to begin construction on a Disneyland in China. This one will be built for children, by children."-Conan O'Brien Reasons To Like Beer by 7-Year-Olds A handful of 7 year old children were asked, 'what they thought of beer.' Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching. 7-year-old Tim- 'I think beer must be go

TODAY'S MYSTERY QUOTE QUOTE: "The essence of pleasure is spontaneity." HINT: (1939-), Australian writer, academic, journalist and scholar of early modern English literature. *********************************************************** RANDOM TIDBITS Cadbury introduced its first cream-filled egg in 1923, but the brand we know today was not launched until 1971. *** In 1975, the Cadbury Creme Egg was advertised for the first time on television. A boy asks a shopkeeper for ‘600 Cadbury Creme Eggs please’. *** The egg is made by pouring liquid chocolate into a half-egg shaped mold, which is then filled with white fondant and then a dab of yellow fondant to simulate the yolk. The two mold halves are closed very quickly and cooled to allow the chocolate to set. *** The Cadbury Creme Egg plant at Bournville UK can produce more than 1.5 million eggs per day. In the UK, over 200 million cream eggs

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