Jokes: 10/01/12
"A new study found that dogs are smarter than cats because their friendliness has helped them develop bigger brains. Cat people would complain about the findings, but that would involve interacting with other humans." -Jimmy Fallon
I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted.
I spent $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic.
I spent another $2,000 on liposuction for her and she was over the moon.
Then I spend $50 on a blow job for myself and she goes fucking mental.
Women!
"Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill." -Henry Louis Mencken.
Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice Wednesday evenings, and often head for a restaurant afterwards with their fellow choir members.
Florence soon noticed that every time she had a glass of wine, it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James agreed with her that it might be better if she abstained, and so she did.
On one post choir occasion, however, Florence decided, after some hesitation, to try a different variety of wine. Some time passed with no consequences.
Then she waved happily across the big table where her colleagues all sat and while holding up the empty wine glass announced in a loud voice, "James! I don't have a headache tonight!"
I spent $5,000 on a boob job for the wife. She was delighted.
I spent $2,000 on a nose job for her. She was ecstatic.
I spent another $2,000 on liposuction for her and she was over the moon.
Then I spend $50 on a blow job for myself and she goes fucking mental.
Women!
"Life without sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it, take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious, boresome, imbecile level of life in an anthill." -Henry Louis Mencken.
Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice Wednesday evenings, and often head for a restaurant afterwards with their fellow choir members.
Florence soon noticed that every time she had a glass of wine, it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James agreed with her that it might be better if she abstained, and so she did.
On one post choir occasion, however, Florence decided, after some hesitation, to try a different variety of wine. Some time passed with no consequences.
Then she waved happily across the big table where her colleagues all sat and while holding up the empty wine glass announced in a loud voice, "James! I don't have a headache tonight!"
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