Jokes 04/18/10
"Being Irish I should resent the Notre Dame nickname, 'The Fighting Irish.' After all, how long do you think nicknames like 'The Bargaining Jews' or 'The Murdering Italians' would last? Only the ironic Irish could be so naively honest."
-George Carlin
I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our three young sons to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking.
She poured a small amount for me to taste, and then our six-year-old piped up, "Mom usually Drinks a lot more than that!"
"President Obama met with Queen Elizabeth. He was the 11th U.S. President the Queen has met with, and the first one where she spent the entire meeting clutching her purse."
--Bill Maher
On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that read "No Stoping."
Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the law. Brandishing a Webster's dictionary, he noted that stoping means:
"Extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground."
"Your Honor", said the man, "I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn't extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be dismissed."
Acknowledging that the defendant hadn't done any illegal mining, the judge declared the man not guilty and commented, "Since this is Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I'll turn you loose."
-George Carlin
I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our three young sons to an upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking.
She poured a small amount for me to taste, and then our six-year-old piped up, "Mom usually Drinks a lot more than that!"
"President Obama met with Queen Elizabeth. He was the 11th U.S. President the Queen has met with, and the first one where she spent the entire meeting clutching her purse."
--Bill Maher
On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a sign that read "No Stoping."
Rather than pleading guilty, the defendant argued that the missing letter in the sign meant that he had not violated the letter of the law. Brandishing a Webster's dictionary, he noted that stoping means:
"Extracting ore from a stope or, loosely, underground."
"Your Honor", said the man, "I am a law-abiding citizen and I didn't extract any ore from the area of the sign. I move that the case be dismissed."
Acknowledging that the defendant hadn't done any illegal mining, the judge declared the man not guilty and commented, "Since this is Friday, the 13th, anything can happen, so I'll turn you loose."
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