Jokes 04/13/10
"A man from Thailand spent three extra years in an Indonesian prison because of a typo. It turns out he only ROPED a cow."-Jimmy Fallon
Bill had been quite the ladies man and player all his life, but now that he was getting up there in age, his doctor was getting concerned about him. "Bill," advised the doctor, "I can add 15 more years to your life if you will just quit your old routine of wine, women, and song." Bill thought for a few minutes, then said, "Tell you what doc, I'll settle for five more years and just give up singing."
"An Irish airline has announced that it will charge $1.50 to use the toilet on the airplane. A lot of people will find a whole new use for the airsick bag." -Jay Leno
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!" "Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."
Bill had been quite the ladies man and player all his life, but now that he was getting up there in age, his doctor was getting concerned about him. "Bill," advised the doctor, "I can add 15 more years to your life if you will just quit your old routine of wine, women, and song." Bill thought for a few minutes, then said, "Tell you what doc, I'll settle for five more years and just give up singing."
"An Irish airline has announced that it will charge $1.50 to use the toilet on the airplane. A lot of people will find a whole new use for the airsick bag." -Jay Leno
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!" "Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."
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