Timmersomethings Blog Of Random Stuff

This may look good in your dining room: Although if you ask me it really belongs in the bathroom right over the commode. But that's just me.

Don't care who you are, this is funny... A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the sidewalk in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcingFREE KITTENS. Suddenly a line of big black cars pulled up beside her. Out of the lead car stepped a tall, grinning man. "Hi there little girl, I'm President Obama. What do you have in the basket?" he asked. "Kittens," little Suzy said. "How old are they?" asked Obama. Suzy replied, "They're so young, their eyes aren't even open yet." "And what kind of kittens are they?" "Democrats," answered Suzy with a smile. Obama was delighted. As soon as he returned to his car, he called his PR chief and told him about the little girl and the kittens. Recognizing the perfect photo op, the two men agreed that the president should return the next day; and in front of the assembled media, have the g...

Last night i was parked in my trailer watching the movie 2012 (mainly cause i was bored) and a horrifying thought crept into my mind. Assuming of course that the mayans weren't so phenomonally full of shit that they could fretalize all of wine country and still have leftovers, let's say that December 21st is in fact the end of the world as we know it. Holy disenfrachised voters Batman. No matter whether Romny wins or Obama squeeks by for a second term, he's still going to be the last president of this great country. Now i didn't vote for his sorry ass back in 2008 but if i did and 12/21/12 truly is game over planet Earth, i'm probably thinking "I want my vote back. I didn't mean to vote for that jack-ass Obama". Oh well i could just be delusional. Wouldn't be the first time for that. Until next time true believers, Stay Frosty and i'll see ya in the funny papers.

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be more angry about what Mitt Romney does with his money than what Barack Obama does with mine." Sounds like Rush Limbaugh struck intellectual gold yet again.

George W Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, 'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse.' The second barber turned to Bush and said, 'How about you sir?' Bush replied, 'Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'

YOU GOTTA LOVE GARFIELD 'S EXPLANATION -- TOO CUTE & ALSO TOO TRUE!!! A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our oil is located in: Alaska ~~~ California ~~~ Coastal Florida ~~~ Coastal Louisiana ~~~ Coastal Alabama ~~~ Coastal Mississippi ~~~ Coastal Texas ~~~ North Dakota ~~~ Wyoming ~~~ Colorado ~~~ Kansas ~~~ Oklahoma ~~~ Pennsylvania ~~~ and Texas ~~~ Our dipsticks are located in DC. Any questions? NO? Didn't think so.

This cartoon pretty much nails it ......

Nuff said there i think.

George Washington, our nation's first president and leader of the American Revolution! Abe Lincoln, honorable leader who pulled our nation through its darkest time! Alexander Hamilton, founding father, first Secretary of the Treasury and leader of the Constitutional Convention! Andrew Jackson, "Old Hickory " fought the British in New Orleans! Ulysses Grant, Union army general, led the North through the Civil War Ben Franklin, genius inventor, political theorist and leading author of the Constitution. Finally, we have someone to put on the food stamp! Obama's policies have put more people on welfare than any president before him, so this placement is most appropriate. Unlike the Nobel Peace Prize, for which he did nothing, this is an "honor" he richly deserves!

Politicians Like Barack Obama remind me of a hurricane. When they blow into town, they do so with alot of energy, excitement, fury, and yes even a bit of hooplah. But the results are always disasterous. And when they leave all they leave behind is a big old mess for someone else to both pick up after, and pick up the tab for. Come to think of it the same could be said for Mar Di Gra participants but then again i don't wanna upset anyone from New Orleans. I'm told them Cajun folks can get rather mean when angered.

Ruger is coming out with a new pistol in honor of Senators and Congressmen. It will be named the Congressman. It doesn't work and you can't fire it.

The attached Obama short speech was delivered spontaneously and without the aid of his ubiquitous teleprompter, apparently while vacationing at Camp David .... Delivered outdoors, it was apparently taped by an alert news person with a handy video camera. The sound is rather good considering the outdoor conditions and the apparent spontaneity of the event. Listen carefully to his words. Giving credit where credit is due, he actually makes more sense than anything he has said in almost three years as President and two years prior to that while on the campaign trail.

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. 'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Attorney General said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are three sides to every triangle'. When asked to comment on the arrest, t...

Patrick Michaels is a senior fellow in Environmental Studies at the Cato Institute and the editor of the forthcoming Climate Coup: Global Warming's Invasion of our Government and our Lives, as well as the author of several other books on global warming. His Forbes column on the Chevy Volt is a case study in the nexus between big government corruption and big business rent-seeking. Michaels briefly recaps the well-known consumer fraud in which GM has touted the Volt as an all-electric mass production vehicle on the supposed basis of which its sales receive a $7, 500 taxpayer subsidy, which still renders it overpriced and unmarketable. Michaels notes that "sales are anemic: 326 in December, 321 in January, and 281 in February." There seems to be a trend here. Michaels adds that GM has announced a production run of 100, 000 in the first two years and asks what appears to be a rhetorical question: "Who is going to buy all these cars?" But wait! Keep hope alive! Ther...

Very interesting -- the University is standing by their professor and not bowing down to special interest groups! Verified By Snopes.com Professor Wichman E-mail Claim: A Michigan professor sent an e-mail telling Muslim students to leave the country. Status: True. The story begins at Michigan State University with a mechanical engineering professor named Indred Wichman. Wichman sent an e-mail to the Muslim Student's Association. The e-mail was in response to the students' protest of the Danish cartoons that portrayed the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist. The group had complained the cartoons were 'hate speech.' ========================================== Enter Professor Wichman. ========================================== In his e-mail, he said the following: ========================================== Dear Muslim Association, As a professor of Mechanical Engineering here at MSU I intend to protest your protest. I am offended not by cartoons, but by more mundane thing...

In honor of former Governor Schwarzenegger, a new commandment has been added to the Bible. Be sure to write this one in underneath the other ten: 11. "Thou Shalt Not Share Thy Rod With Thy Staff"

I'm sending this to all of my friends. Some live in other countries and may not understand the mind set of Americans, especially our founding fathers. I think this power point pretty well puts things in perspective. Hopefully, y'all will understand after viewing. Harold Guns, knives, swords, spears, and arrows do not kill people. People (sometimes animals and natural disasters) kill people. That is the bottom line. Have you ever seen or heard of a knife jump up and say I'm going to kill John Doe and then do it? Nope, there has to be a person holding that knife in order for someone to die. End of discussion. An accident is ALWAYS caused by someone's carelessness! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is very good. Please take the time to watch. An excellent lesson whatever your political position.

WOW. Thats all i can say.

The Manitoba Herald - as Reported by Clive Runnels The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to st...