Timmersomethings Blog Of Random Stuff

A minister passing through his church In the middle of the day, Decided to pause by the altar And see who had come to pray. Just then the back door opened, A man came down the aisle, The minister frowned as he saw The man hadn't shaved in a while. His shirt was kinda shabby And his coat was worn and frayed, The man knelt, he bowed his head, Then rose and walked away. In the days that followed, Each noon time came this chap, Each time he knelt just for a moment, A lunch pail in his lap. Well, the minister's suspicions grew, With robbery a main fear, He decided to stop the man and ask him, 'What are you doing here?' The old man said, he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour Lunchtime was his prayer time, For finding strength and power. 'I stay only moments, see, Because the factory is so far away; As I kneel here talking to the Lord, This is kinda what I say: 'I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRI...

TODAY'S MYSTERY QUOTE QUOTE: "The power of imagination makes us infinite." HINT: Scottish-born American naturalist, author, and early advocate of preservation of wilderness in the United States. RANDOM TIDBITS A favorite cheerleading tune, the video for Toni Basil's number one hit song "Mickey" included real-life cheerleaders. Toni's uniform was real as well; the "LVH" patch stood for Las Vegas High, where she was on the squad in the early 1960s. Many of the stunts performed in the 2000 film Bring It On, including the fly-overs and the basket tosses with head-over-heels rotation, are illegal in competitions at the high school level because of safety concerns. The first organized chant that occurred during a football game at Princeton in the 1880s: Rah, Rah, Rah! Tiger, Tiger, Tiger! Sis, Sis, Sis! Boom, Boom, Boom! Aaaah! Princeton, Princeton, Princeton! The Washington Redskins cheerleaders are the oldest active cheerleading organ...

One of my favorite books of all time is Steinbeck's Grapes of Wrath. Today we have quotations from that book. *---- Quotes For The Week ----* Before I knowed it, I was sayin' out loud, 'The hell with it! There ain't no sin and there ain't no virtue. There's just stuff people do. It's all part of the same thing.'... I says, 'What's this call, this sperit?' An' I says, 'It's love. I love people so much I'm fit to bust, sometimes.-- Chapter 4 !!!! My FAVORITE!!!! The bank is something more than men, I tell you. It's the monster. Men made it, but they can't control it.--Chapter 5 Tommy, don't you go fightin' 'em alone. They'll hunt you down like a coyote. Tommy, I got to thinkin' and dreamin' and wonderin'. They say there's a hun'erd thousand of us shoved out. If we was all mad the same way, Tommy-they wouldn't hunt nobody down.--Chapter 8 **--- MYSTERY QUOTE ---** Death is on...

TODAY'S MYSTERY QUOTE QUOTE: "I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value." HINT: (1877-1964), German born Swiss novelist and poet. Won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1946. RANDOM TIDBITS The title of the Paul Simon 1972 hit single "Mother and Child Reunion" was adopted from the name of a chicken-and-egg dish he spotted on the menu of Say Eng Look, a Chinese restaurant in the Chinatown section of New York City. In China, "pork" is synonymous with "meat." The Chinese do eat beef, but because cattle are more valued as work animals, most of their dishes are made with swine. Chop suey is strictly an American concoction. Chinese immigrants who worked on the railways would cook together whatever vegetables and meat they had available. The name comes from the Mandarin phrase "tsa sui," which means "mixed ...

The following number is the only one of its kind: 8,549,176,320. Can you figure out what is so special about it? Right click on your mouse for the answer.

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be more angry about what Mitt Romney does with his money than what Barack Obama does with mine." Sounds like Rush Limbaugh struck intellectual gold yet again.

People born before 1946 were called The Silent and powerful generation.. - People born between 1946 and 1964 are called The Baby Boomers. - People born between 1965 and 1979 are called Generation X. - And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called Generation Y. Why do we call the last group Generation Y? Y should I get a job? Y should I leave home and find my own place? Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours? Y should I clean my room? Y should I wash and iron my own clothes? Y should I buy any food? But a cartoonist explained it very eloquently below...

George W Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, 'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse.' The second barber turned to Bush and said, 'How about you sir?' Bush replied, 'Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'

The Dalai Lama of Tibet, Tenzin Gyatso, is both the spiritual leader and head of the state of Tibet. Born on July 6, 1935, he was just 2 years old when he was recognized as the reincarnation of the 13th Dalai Lama, Thubten Gyatso. He took the throne at age 4 and became a monk at age 6. The Dalai Lama has a range of pastimes including meditating, gardening, and repairing watches. According to a study by the American Journal of Public Health, adults who watch three hours of TV a day are more likely to be obese than those who keep it under an hour. Soft drinks represent the largest single source of added sugars in the American diet. The average American will drink 54 gallons of soft drink a year. Andy Warhol made over 300 underground films. 'Sleep', the first, simply showed a man asleep for six hours. In 2006, billionaire collector Eli Broad paid $11.8 million for Warhol's small painting of a can of Campbell's soup. Acoustic guitars date back to the 16th century. Over the ...

TODAY'S MYSTERY QUOTE QUOTE: "Our character...is an omen of our destiny, and the more integrity we have and keep, the simpler and nobler that destiny is likely to be." HINT: (1863-1952), philosopher, essayist, poet, and novelist. RANDOM TIDBITS Not only is the ostrich egg the largest in the world, it is also the toughest egg. It can withstand a person weighing slightly over 253 pounds. The least amount of spider eggs is laid by the Oonops domesticus, a tiny pink spider living in the walls of European homes. It only lays two eggs. The older an egg is, the easier it is to peel once it is hard-boiled. After cooking your eggs, you should also run it under cold water to chill the shell and keep it under the water while you peel it. It makes the shell come off more easily and prevents the greenish tinge from foaming around the yoke. Generally, fresh eggs will lie on the bottom of the bowl of water. Eggs that tilt so that the large end is up are older. The tilting is caused by a...

TODAY'S MYSTERY QUOTE QUOTE: "Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." HINT: (1891-1980), American writer and painter, some works include Tropic of Cancer (1934), Black Spring (1936), and Tropic of Capricorn (1939). RANDOM TIDBITS San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge is painted a specific shade known as International Orange. The bridge's designers felt that the orange hue blended best with the warm colors of the land in the area and the cool colors of the sky and sea. On May 30, 1883, with mobs of people still crowding the promenade of the newly opened Brooklyn Bridge, a woman tripped while walking and screamed. Others interpreted her scream to mean that the bridge was collapsing, and the ensuing stampede resulted in 12 deaths and scores of injuries. The single busiest land border crossing in North America is the...

I'm sometimes full, but I never overflow. What am I? Right Click on your mouse for the answer

Thought this was pretty amazing and interesting! For all the scientists out there, and for all the students who have a hard time convincing these people regarding the truth of the Bible, here's something that shows God's awesome creation, and that He is still in control. Did you know that the space program is busy proving that what has been called 'myth' in the Bible is true? Mr. Harold Hill, President of the Curtis Engine Company in Baltimore, Maryland, and a consultant in the space program, relates the following development. 'I think one of the most amazing things that God has done for us today happened recently to our astronauts and space scientists at Green Belt, Maryland ..... They were checking out where the positions of the sun, moon, and planets would be 100 years and 1,000 years from now. We have to know this so we won't send up a satellite and have it bump into something later on in its orbits. We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the ...

53-year-old Sergei Bobkov has patented a unique technique of creating amazing sculptures out of Siberian cedar wood-chips. “It’s not very interesting to do what others can. To create something out of nothing in a completely new way is far more inspiring.” This is how Sergei Bobkov explains the unique form of art that he created. He says many people compare his artworks to taxidermy, because they both look so much like the animals they replicate, but Sergei believes they are as different as light and darkness. Whereas taxidermy is all about death, his wood-chip art symbolizes life. This resident of Kozhany , Russia , has developed his very own technique that prevents wood-chips from falling apart in time. After creating about 100-150 chips, from 2-3 inch long cedar stick, he puts them in water for several days. Then, making use of his surgical precision, he carves the chips into any shape he needs. Sergey has been doing this for some time now, but he has only created 11 wood-chip sculpt...

A young Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest, "I'm pregnant." He asked, "How did this happen, my child?" She said, "I think it must be the second coming." The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think this has anything to do with the Second Coming?" "Because," she replied, "I swallowed the first one."

Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." The second woman says "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!" To which the first replies, "Whoa, I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"

A guy and a girl are lying in a bed after just having sex. The girl lays on her side of the bed and rests. The guy goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man, oh Man, I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin." The girl overhears him talking to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?" "Well," the guy explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the woman I love to lose my virginity." Astounded, the girl replies, "So you really love me?" "Oh, God no!" the guy says. "I just got sick of waiting." A salesman went to the door of a young couple one day and rang the doorbell. After 3 rings and no answer, he assumed no one was home and decide to leave. He happened to pass by an open window and saw the couple naked on the sofa. Being a pervert, he peered closer to get a better look. He notice the woman was sitting with her legs wide open, shaving her pubic area while staring at he...

On the first day of the school term the shop teacher was surprised to see a rather proper-looking young lady sitting in the front row of his classroom. Her name was Emily and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodwork class. The bemused teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right class. Emily assured him that she was. The teacher, still somewhat puzzled, added, "This course may be a bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?" "What exactly do you mean?" Emily asked. "Well, for example, do you know the difference between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the teacher expounded. After pondering for a moment, Emily admitted, "I can't really say, since I've never been 'bolted'."

A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is waiting outside of the ladies dressing room for his Mom to come out. While waiting the little boy gets bored and just when his Mom comes walking out, she sees her son sliding his hand up a mannequin's skirt. "Get your hand out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know that women have teeth down there?" The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and thanks his lucky stars he didn't get bitten. For the next ten years, this little boy grows up believing all women have teeth between their legs. When he's 16, he gets a girlfriend. One night, while her parents are out of town, she invites him over for a little action. After an hour of making out and grinding on the sofa, she says, "You know, you could go a little further if you want." "What do you mean?" he asks. "Well, why don't you put your hand down there?" she says, pointing to her crotch. "HELL NO," he cries,...

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does." The second woman giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft." The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?" She frowned and said, "The postman. He always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box." What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant. A young man moved out from home and into his first apartment. He went proudly down to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While there, a stunning young blonde lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a con...

In a local sports bar trivia quiz the other night, I lost by one point. The question was, where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the answer is Africa. The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. Therefore, what we do is put the prisoner in the prison. Then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped." Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to reimprison him. "After the second time they spent, they guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out agai...

This has been around but I still laughed almost uncontrollably. Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!! Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...?? WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity da...

*---- Quotes For The Week ----* It is more shameful to distrust our friends than to be deceived by them.--Confucius Man is born free, and everywhere he is in shackles.--Rousseau Look at the means which a man employs, consider his motives, observe his pleasures. A man simply cannot conceal himself.--Confucius **--- MYSTERY QUOTE ---** First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. See at the bottom for the answer. *---- More Quotes for the Week ----* Justice is indiscriminately due to all, without regard to numbers, wealth or rank.--Chief Justice John Jay I, the Teacher, when king over Israel in Jerusalem, applied my mind to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven; it is an unhappy business that God has given to human beings to be busy with. I saw all the deeds that are done under the sun; and see, all is vanity and a chasing after wind. What is crooked cannot be made straight, and what is lacking cannot be counted.--Soloman, Ecclesiaste...

YOU GOTTA LOVE GARFIELD 'S EXPLANATION -- TOO CUTE & ALSO TOO TRUE!!! A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our oil is located in: Alaska ~~~ California ~~~ Coastal Florida ~~~ Coastal Louisiana ~~~ Coastal Alabama ~~~ Coastal Mississippi ~~~ Coastal Texas ~~~ North Dakota ~~~ Wyoming ~~~ Colorado ~~~ Kansas ~~~ Oklahoma ~~~ Pennsylvania ~~~ and Texas ~~~ Our dipsticks are located in DC. Any questions? NO? Didn't think so.

TODAY'S MYSTERY QUOTE QUOTE: "The body is shaped, disciplined, honored, and in time, trusted." HINT: (1894-1991), American modern dancer and choreographer. RANDOM TIDBITS The three smallest bones in the human body are found in the middle ear: the malleus, the incus, and the stapes. Wrist fractures are the most common broken bone injury in people under the age of 75. After that, the hip moves into first place. Infants are born with up to 300 "soft" bones, many of which harden and fuse together as the baby grows. As an adult, a typical human adult's body contains 206 bones. Stuntman Evil Knievel earned a place in the record books by having broken 35 bones during his career. He's suffered more than a dozen surgeries to repair them, including one to rebuild his pelvis after he shattered it during a motorcycle jump attempt in 1967. The tingling you feel when you hit your "funny bone" occurs when the ulnar nerve hits the humerus bone in the arm. It...

By 2010, no state had a prevalence of obesity less than 20%. 36 states had a prevalence of 25% or more; 12 of these states (Alabama, Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and West Virginia) had a prevalence of 30% or more. Historically, obesity primarily afflicted adults, but this has changed in the last 2 decades. 15-25% of American children and adolescents are now obese. Children and adolescents who are obese are likely to be obese in adulthood and to develop obesity-related health problems. The earliest written record of magnification dates back to the 1st century AD, when Seneca the Younger, a tutor of Emperor Nero of Rome, wrote: "Letters, however small and indistinct, are seen enlarged and more clearly through a globe or glass filled with water". Nero (reigned 54-68 AD) is also said to have watched the gladiatorial games using an emerald as a corrective lens. 25% of the global population needs eyeglas...

*---- Quotes For The Week ----* It is no longer possible to see the Scientific Revolution as a self-contained European phenomenon; exchange of ideas between Islamic West Asia and Christian Europe was a lively and vital component of the new scientific discoveries.--Thomas Christensen, From "The World in Motion" There is not one of you who dares to write your honest opinions, and if you did, you know beforehand that it would never appear in print. I am paid weekly for keeping my honest opinion out of the paper I am connected with. Others of you are paid similar salaries for similar things, and any of you who would be so foolish as to write honest opinions would be out on the streets looking for another job. If I allowed my honest opinions to appear in one issue of my paper, before twenty-four hours my occupation would be gone. The business of the journalists is to destroy the truth, to lie outright, to pervert, to vilify, to fawn at the feet of mammon, and to sell his country a...

TODAY'S MYSTERY QUOTE QUOTE: "Awake, thou wintry earth - Fling off thy sadness! Fair vernal flowers, laugh forth Your ancient gladness!" HINT: (1913-1992), American author, screenwriter and lyricist. RANDOM TIDBITS According to the Venerable Bede, Easter derives its name from Eostre, an Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. In Medieval Europe, eggs were forbidden during Lent. Eggs laid during that time were often boiled or otherwise preserved. Eggs were thus a mainstay of Easter meals, and a prized Easter gift for children and servants. Orthodox Christians in the Middle East and in Greece painted eggs bright red to symbolize the blood of Christ. Hollow eggs (created by piercing the shell with a needle and blowing out the contents) were decorated with pictures of Christ, the Virgin Mary, and other religious figures in Armenia. Hares and rabbits have long been symbols of fertility. The inclusion of the hare into Easter customs appears to have originated in Germany, where tales wer...

A man is trapped in a room. The room has only two possible exits: two doors. Through the first door there is a room constructed from magnifying glass. The blazing hot sun instantly fries anything or anyone that enters. Through the second door there is a fire-breathing dragon. How does the man escape? Right click your mouse for the answer.

Now this is how the human mind works!!! Read below before viewing. Amazing, the study of psychology. Watch (see attachment). Here we have a set of stairs, adjacent to a moving escalator next to it ..... both of which lead to the same spot on the floor of the upper level. At first no one took the stairs, almost 97% of the people took the escalator. Okay. I think that could be a normal expected result. Then a group of engineers got together, and decided they wanted to change the percentage around. Notice what these scientists did. Clever. And now they have reversed the percentages, as a whopping 66% more people take the stairs, than ride the escalator.

A prisoner is told "If you tell a lie we will hang you; if you tell the truth we will shoot you." What can he say to save himself? Right Click your mouse for the answer.

TODAY'S MYSTERY QUOTE QUOTE: "Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day's work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition." HINT: (1849-1919), one of the "Big Four" founding professors at Johns Hopkins Hospital as the first Professor of Medicine and founder of the Medical Service there. RANDOM TIDBITS The map of Virginia City, Nevada that burned during the opening credits of Bonanza was turned sideways so that East was at the top instead of North. Michael Landon was the only main male cast member who had a full head of hair, but his locks had actually gone prematurely grey by the time he was 20 years old. The chestnut brown color he sported on Bonanza was thanks to Clairol Ash Brown. Dan "Hoss" Blocker was famous for ruining takes because he'd frequently forget to remove his Rolex wristwatch before filming a scene. Pernell Roberts had been a staunch supporter of civil rights since his childhood in the segre...

This is probably the most amazing picture of 2011!!! "Did you lose a cat?"

This cartoon pretty much nails it ......

Parked on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Massachusetts state trooper sees a car puttering along at 24 mph. He thinks to himself, "This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand. I was going the exact speed limit. What seems to be the problem?" The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 24 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before you go, Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken." "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 128."